How to Persevere
How to remain hopeful in an overwhelming world.
All of January felt long, but these last two weeks have been both extra long and extra turbulent. Every time I looked at my phone, or computer, or TV, there was some new headline detailing another executive order or press alert, each more horrifying than the last. And in talking about it with my friends, we all felt similarly - just totally and completely overwhelmed.
Honestly, it seems like overwhelming us is the goal. With social media and a basically neverending news cycle, it feels like there’s something new coming out every five minutes. It’s really hard to focus on any issue in particular when an hour later, there’s something new to be outraged about. When all the news you see is negative, it begins to lose its impact. We lose the motivation to fight back when things start to feel inevitable.
This feeling of hopelessness is something that I’ve grappled with my whole life. Growing up with a disability, I had to learn very early how to exist in a society that wasn’t designed with me in mind. Even before the current outcry against diversity, equity, inclusion, and accessibility (which is a topic for another week…), most of my life outside my house wasn’t accessible. From flights of stairs keeping me from restaurants, to people illegally parking in accessible parking spaces, to near-constant left swipes on dating apps, I have always understood that life wasn’t fair. But if I got mad every single time I came across something inaccessible, I would have completely burnt out around the age of five and never left my house.
Being disabled has taught me resilience; has given me experience in living with anger and disappointment; to understand that there will always be something that needs to be better and changed. But it’s also helped me see that we are individuals and that we can’t take on every issue by ourselves. It’s so important to decide, on a personal level, what our priorities are.
Our time, our attention, our actions - they’re all limited. It’s up to us to decide how to best put those limited resources to use.
It is up to us to decide our limits. It’s okay to not read every headline and every news alert the second they come out. If you want to check the news once a day - or even once every few days - then do that. Being informed is important, of course, but everyone needs to learn their own boundaries between being informed and being overwhelmed.
When you feel like you’re reaching your limits, pause for a moment. Stop and ask yourself: Am I crossing my boundary? Do I feel hope for the future? Do I feel like I can find a way to do good in a scary world? That’s where we all need to be.
Keeping up with every single moment of the neverending news cycle can make us feel perpetually mad and perpetually hopeless at the same time - it makes us feel like the future that they want for us is inevitable. We know better, though. We know that we still have hope.
Stay informed - but know your limits. Consume the news, but don’t let it consume you. Seek out moments of joy and happiness where you can find them. Because we need everyone to survive and fight another day.
This week on the blog
What I’ve been reading and watching
I got an ARC of Saltwater by Katy Hays (thank you, Netgalley and Random House) - it will be out on March 25. It took me a little bit to get into it, but I ended up liking it a lot - it’s a family drama / thriller set in Capri. It reminds me a bit of White Lotus, and it would be really great to read over the summer on vacation.
I also started Water Moon by Samantha Sotto Yambao, and I’m loving the writing style so far. It’s a bit of a mix of a cozy, magical mystery set at a pawn shop where you can sell your regrets. I’m not very far into it yet, but I’m excited to keep reading.
My current audibook is James by Percival Everett - it’s a retelling of Huck Finn from the point-of-view of Jim, the slave. I didn’t actually ever read Huck Finn, but I’m still able to follow the story, and wow, is it good.
What I’m eying and buying
I’m always looking for comfy sweaters I can wear around the house - not too heavy or bulky. I especially love short sleeved options because, as silly as this may sound, it’s easier to me to move my arms without sleeves! This sweater looks so cozy and is in such a bright, fun pop of red.
I’ve been working really hard on perfecting my skincare over the last year or so. I have always had some redness in my skin, likely very mild rosacea. I picked up this “Calm the Red Down” serum + color corrector a few days ago! It’s too early to know if it’s working, but it’s felt really nice on my skin so far.
I am not really a lipliner person, but I love all the Rhode makeup I’ve used so far, so I’m very intrigued by their new lip contours. I might need to try one out!
As ever, you give calm and deliberative counsel, based on deep insight. Thank you Heather.
Great great essay. Really.
Have you seen CODA?